Cami brought up a point that led to an idea. I just told my "Supernanny" WalMart story but it's not my best.
I was in a WalMart in Puerto Rico. I was in the restroom, which for those of you who know me I spend a lot of time in them, looking for them, etc thanks to the teeny, weeny, itsy, bitsy Huntington bladder I inherited. You name anywhere I've been and I can probably tell you where the bathroom is! There's another one for my short list of talents! Don't you wish you had my wealth of knowledge and experience?
Anyway, I was washing my hands with a generous amount of soap (how I hate public restrooms) when a lady exited a stall behind me. She then very politely explained that she had just had a manicure and therefore was unable to do up her pants. She then asked me to help her button and zip said pants. I know what you are thinking... "run away, run away". Unfortunately it was one of those moments in which I was so shocked by the request it didn't even occur to me to say no. I dutifully went over and began to try to button her skin tight, white stretch jeans over her ample belly. She must have had plenty of kids to develop that paunch. (So sorry for the visual you now have burned into th back of your brain which will permanently haunt you.) She then informs me that I must zip them first and then I will be able to button them. At this point, my brain kicks in and I think "What the ____ am I doing?" I finish zipping and buttoning her pants and exit the bathroom. Paul and I often enjoy exchanging strange stories that have happened to us. As I left the bathroom he said "You'll never believe what happened to me!" to which I replied, "I don't care what it was, I can top it!"
Now, here's the idea part. Everyone seems to have a WalMart (or other public place) story. Now that you have heard my best story, I would love to hear yours. I know Cherise has a WalMart story involving a man and the size of his underwear. If you haven't heard it, you should really ask her to tell you sometime.
Leave a comment and share your best public place story!
4 comments:
Okay so this isn't Brooke, it's Paul. One day while filling in at the SLC WalMart I had "gentleman" stroll into the optical. First let me describe the man: He had long stringy hair and at least 3 or 4 good teeth. It was hard to tell what was bigger, the height of his trucker hat or the width of his belt buckle. Anyway, while carrying a gallon zip lock bag filled with some water, toilet paper, and who knows what, asks in a deep southern drawl if I can clean his sunglasses because they accidentally fell into the "crapper" when he was using it. Now me being the good customer relations doctor that I am, referred him immediately to the new guy working there. Well that poor sap gloved up and cleaned the glasses (yuck!!!). This is the kicker...I looked at the glasses before Billy-Bob-Ray got them back. They were like a $5 dollar pair of sunglasses.
hahahaha, both of those stories are hilarious!
I don't have a WalMart story, per se. Just driving past a WalMart gives me PTSD.
I advise you to use the same rejoinder I gave you for the Supernanny lady on everyone else who comes within 20 feet of you and your family. Seriously, don't even wait to see what they want. You can always apologize later.
('Sorry, Bishop, I just assumed you had something to say about my child rearing practices, or perhaps you'd dropped your glasses..."
I don't have a story that I can think of, but I thoroughly enjoyed reading yours. That is hilarious. I needed a little pick me up today :)
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