One of those days

Today was one of those days when being wife, mother, maid, laundress,Cub Scout leader, summer activities director, gardener, landscaper, lawnmower, motivational speaker, disciplinarian, educator, life counselor, computer graphics expert, television screener, social director, nutritionist, chef, shopper, coupon clipper, boo-boo kisser, librarian, piano practice enforcer, referree, nay sayer, tantrum diffuser...etc...etc...etc... is just more than I can tackle.  I'm wishing for a cold drink, a comfy lounge chair, a good book, and some guilt-free quiet.

Crazy, fluky accident

On Wednesday, we got a very urgent, disconcerting phone call. It was Paul's day off, and we were enjoying the day when we got the call saying that a man had just run his car into Paul's office!! Apparently, he had given blood and then stopped at the smoke shop across the street. As he was waiting to turn onto 39th South (a VERY busy street) he passed out and his foot hit the gas pedal. He shot across the street (It was a miracle he wasn't hit by oncoming traffic!) and the sidewalk and grass and straight into the back workroom! As you can see, most of the wall was floor to ceiling windows with metal posts in between. Needless to say there is a lot of glass to clean up! There was also a lot of oil on the floor so it smells like a car garage, and the wall between the workroom and his exam room is bowed out and cracked. There will be work to do for a long time!

Fortunately, no one was hurt. Anna, Paul's optician was in the room a few seconds earlier adjusting some glasses. She had just walked out of the room. The driver walked away without a scratch. We are also fortunate that it was the workroom rather than Paul's exam room or the optical. He lost some equipment that will have to be replaced but he could have lost a lot more equipment or his display cases and hundreds of frames. He will still be able to keep the office open while repairs are made. The driver is insured as well as the building which Paul leases from, and we have insurance so financially we should be covered. It's just the pain of sorting out all the claims and waiting for the work to be done! Although, we would have been more fortunate if it had not happened at all, we have to look for the blessings.

What a weird, fluky thing to happen!

Too Many stories, too little time...

There is a contest with lots of great prizes over at We are THAT Family. The contest is perfect for us. Entrants must attempt to prove that they are THAT family, you know the ones... So in a monumental effort to put off packing until the verrry last minute, I decided that I just must enter this contest. Although I have many new and inspiring stories yet to blog about, the ones that make you think, "I hope I never have to deal with THAT!!" I have yet to write the babysitter story, which is going to prove to be a masterpiece tribute to being THAT family, it will have to wait until post moving chaos. As for my submission and the wry amusement of many members of my family, I humbly offer the following past entries:

Our Royal Family (according to Emma)
Our Little Schemer
How we got a Cherry 7-up stained ceiling
NO idle curiosity here
A Jordan story
A Jenna Day
The Christmas Story
Paralyzing Glare
What are they Thinking?!!

The sad... proud... embarassing... (don't know how to feel about it) part is, that these are just a small sampling. Keep browsing under kid's stories, parenting and each child, you will find oh so many more!

Don't forget to check out the side bar featuring some of the things our children have said!

If we do not qualify to be THAT family, I don't know who does!

One of the stories you've been waiting for...

I know, your blog reading faces are turning blue from holding your breath for this one. While my hubby is off having some male bonding time with his brothers and nephews (I am so NOT even jealous of the copious amounts of practical joking that goes on at this annual aromatic fart-fest. I'd rather wrangle 4 kids by myself any day.) I decided to tackle one of the psychologically damaging experiences of the summer. It was the defrosted freezer incident alluded to here.
In July, we traveled to Colter Bay for a wonderful family reunion and took time to drive up through Yellowstone. It was great except for the last 12 hours or so and then the week following, but that is another story for another day. Today's story took place the day after we returned to find the circuit that was connected to our large freezer that my parents have generously consented to have in their garage, had been tripped while we were gone! Now, to fully appreciate this catastrophe I must tell you that we bought a ¼ beef last November and still had about 30 lbs. left.
Well, at least 90% of that cow had completely defrosted and was dripping meat juice everywhere! Paul was working, not to mention sick, and so it fell to me to clean it up! Most of the meat was still cold and didn't smell spoiled so we decided to refreeze it rather than just throw it out! That cow was a pricey one! Well, I tried to take all of the meat out, clean the freezer and put it back in, but as I am sure you guessed, it just made new puddles of that glorious meat juice. I thought about just turning the freezer on, refreezing the meat and then trying to clean it up but realized the packages would just freeze to each other and the shelf. So, I had Paul buy gallon freezer bags and repackaged all of it! It took me hours in the mid afternoon July heat! I was so relieved to finally finish and take a shower!
Now, you may think this is the end of the story, but oh how wrong you would be! The sheer grossness, grossosity, (I know it's not a word, but real words are failing to express the level of ultragrossness) has just begun! The next day the garage started to stink but it was a really busy day (too much vomit clean up to do) and I just couldn't get up there. The next day it was worse! By the third day Mom was practically gagging as she mentioned that it seemed to be getting worse and I practically passed out upon entering the garage. So I ventured back to the freezer to try to discover the problem. I thought maybe some of that lovely juice/water had spilled out of my bucket under the freezer as I was cleaning. No such luck! Unbeknownst to me, there was a drip pan!!! Our freezer is equipped with a handy-dandy drainage hole in the bottom that drains into a drip pan hidden cleverly behind a plastic grill. It was brimming full of an indescribably disgusting sludge that had been brewing for many days in the July heat! Imagine your worst and then take it down a couple of notches. I am cringing as I type this 2 months later!
What to do? What to do with it! I couldn't just dump it somewhere so I opted for the toilet but that meant bringing it into the house! Oh the horror!! As I tromped through the house with my bucket of sludge from Hades, Jordan had the gall to say, "Mom you REALLY stink!"
After scouring the bucket and drip pan, putting baking soda all over the garage, and taking one of the longest, hottest showers of my life. The ordeal was finally over.
Now that it is finally recorded for posterity and my therapy, I can move on! :)

Summer adventures continued...

I have enough material through this summer for a novel series however, I thought I would condense a little and let some of the experiences speak for themselves.
For example, I think you can imagine the clean up involved in a cracked 42 oz bottle of bubble solution slowly leaking into the carpet. Or a toddler with the stomach flu doing her thing on both the leather couch and upholstered rocker, neither of which actually belong to us!
There is a dent in the wall where the doorknob hits from a particularly enthusiastic entrance, the grass is wearing a little thin as we trample around to the back door and the kids continue to sneak-eat the cherry tomatoes out of the garden.
The fish have somehow survived in spite of their near death experience but we lost our last frog Zippy about a week ago. You will probably not be surprised to know that I miss him more than the kids because I was the one who took care of him. We had a unique bond. I have a habit of going in to see my sleeping children before I go to bed. At the end of each day I need the reminder of their innocence, beauty, and my love for them. Anyway, frogs are nocturnal and Zippy was at his most active about midnight. I would silently greet him and watch as he perched on the edge of his water bowl after a refreshing dip. I miss watching him watch me and pondering what he might be thinking. I know, you are astounded at the depth of my ponderings at that time of night.
This is also another superglue testimonial! Emma was chasing Jordan across the street, tripped and fell, and gouged 2 holes in her forehead. We pulled out the superglue again and things seem to be healing well!
And finally (for now) we had the fun adventure of taking down the entire clothes rod and upper shelf in our bedroom. I guess maybe we didn't thin our wardrobes enough when we moved :) The screws pulled right out of the wall.
There are also a few more stories which demand more detail in the telling. I will leave these for a future date when I am more emotionally prepared to relive them. Let's just say one involves a babysitter who didn't know how to say no to science experiments, and the other involves a defrosted freezer that still makes me cringe in horror. Another will recount the beginning of the vomit story which happened to take place in our trailer... on vacation... from the top bunk.
Needless to say, we will have some spackling, painting, and a whole lot of cleaning to do when we move out of here. We are determined to leave this basement in the best shape we can (I mumble with bowed head and a look of penitent chagrin on my face).

Living Small and Trying to Laugh - part2

As promised, here is the next installment in the 3 part story, of the things we have managed to do to the carpet in my parents' basement, which happens to be a small part of a bigger and wilder tale.... Murphy's law (Murphy visits us often, such as here and here) bites in small spaces.

I was sorting laundry during my weekly assault on my mother's washer upstairs. I had my batches sorted into baskets on the bed to be toted upstairs. I carefully balanced the bottle of bleach in the basket of whites, ready to lift and carry, when as so often happens, my attention was drawn by an emergency, real or pretend, perpetuated by my children. I returned no more than 2 minutes later, to find the basket had overbalanced and fallen to the floor. I then discovered much to my dismay, that in a rush I hadn't replaced the cap straight on the bottle and it had splashed and leaked all over the carpet. I blotted, and blotted, and tried to dilute, only to discover that after about 10 minutes, the beautiful warm brown with gold highlights colored carpet, had a 3½" circle of bright tiger orange with spots of the same color dotting the surrounding area. I was sick! I felt like the naughty teenager again as I waited for my parents to come home so I could confess what I did!

Once again, they were very understanding and forgave me quickly as I described my research into possible solutions for repairing the damage and intentions to pay for said repairs. I am grateful they saved the scraps from the installment of the carpet so that we had a better chance of a match instead of trusting fate in getting a dye lot to match. We know how well that usually works out and with Murphy firmly planted in our corner, we had no chance. So, a knowledgeable man came, cut the carpet and patched the area. We were pleased with the results and are now awaiting the bill.