Sad, sad day

Last night the Hanson family in our ward lost their 15 year old son in a car accident.  There were 7 teens from our ward in the car.  Gabe was killed and two others were seriously injured, including our cute babysitter, Kauri Tye from across the street.
Gabe was an amazing boy with a huge spirit.  They are an amazing family.  They have such a strong testimony of the gospel and their six children are all caring, wonderful kids.
I grew up across the street from his dad Tyler.  Our families were close friends and went on vacations together many many times.  Tyler was always like another big brother to me and helped me through some tough times in Junior High.
I cannot express the sadness I feel for them and the pain they are going through.  Today in church the bishop taught a combined lesson to the men, women, and youth.  He gave such a message of hope and comfort addressing where Gabe is, who he is with, and what he is doing there.  He took most of his message from D&C 138.  He ended by saying that our faith creates hope.  May the Hanson family find hope and reasons to smile again soon.  We love you!

My bigger boy

(Last year's photo.  New one coming soon)

My Jordan turned 9 years old yesterday.  I can't believe it!  He is becoming the most amazing kid!  He is my boy who LOVES to laugh.  He also has a talent for making others laugh and cheering them when they are sad.  Jordan has such a tender heart and is so sweet to younger children.  He is really good at taking care of others.

Jordan loves to be outside and active.  He always chooses something active for family outings.  For his birthday he got us all on ice skates having a blast despite the bruised knees.  Jordan has a natural talent in sports and the determination to practice and improve.  However, he is not too competitive that he forgets to have fun.

Jordan is a good friend.  He is loyal and really tries to be a good example.  He is always looking for a friend to play and explore the world around him.

We had fun with Jordan on his birthday.  This year was Jordan's year to choose something to do together as a family.  As I mentioned, he chose ice skating.  Then we came home for a kind of smorgasbord for dinner.   Each person in our family gets to choose their favorite foods for their birthday dinner.  Jordan chose waffles, bacon, raspberries, asparagus, and lemon pie.  At least it had something from each food group! :)  When he opened his presents, he was most excited about a Pokemon DS game and a new trick yoyo.  He is really getting good at "yoing".  As the boys went to bed, they laughed and laughed as Paul read from Jordan's journal that I kept for him when he was young detailing all the mischief he got into.  He hasn't changed in that aspect! :)  Check out some fun stories about Jordan here!

We love Jordan and we are so grateful that he is a part of our family. Our family wouldn't be the same without him.  Happy Birthday my sweet boy!

My former video game hating self

I was reminded of my former self a couple of weeks ago. In Relief Society at church we were discussing different kinds of addictions and how to avoid them. Video gaming came up as something that could easily become an addiction leading to many negative consequences such as job loss, family quality, etc. There was a cute young married girl without children who made the comment that she had made the decision to never have a gaming system in her house. I was reminded of when I too had very strong convictions about the negative aspects of gaming and had decided that I would never have it in my house for my children. I knew the statistics, I had seen it in the lives of my elementary school students, it just wasn't going to happen. Then I became a mom.

It all began with a trampoline. I had also decided that we wouldn't have a trampoline. They were too dangerous and the liability of the neighbor kids jumping too was just something I didn't want to deal with. Then the neighbors got a trampoline. My kids loved it! I was a little nervous but I gave the lecture about being careful, watching out for those smaller than you, not having too many children on at once, etc, etc. Then, one day, I walked over to there to collect my children at dinner time. Not only were there 12 kids on the trampoline at once, but I discovered that the father who lived there liked to do aerial ski jumping and so had raised the trampoline to my shoulder level in order to avoid hitting the ground while practicing his aerials. I was on the Internet the next day looking for a good used trampoline. I had decided that with the trampoline in my backyard I could supervise the number of children jumping and what was happening on that trampoline. I needed to be involved and aware.

Then came video games. I never wanted gaming in my home. I just knew that I could provide more wholesome, fun ways for my kids to spend their time. I was impervious to the pleading, whining, crying, insults etc. and the kids gave me a hard time too. ;) That was until the kids began disappearing to their friends' houses for hours everyday. It wasn't as fun at our house. I was losing my children! Not only were they gone, but I didn't know anything about the types of games they were playing nor what percentage of time they spent playing video games vs. other forms of play and interaction. I suspected that hours upon hours were spent staring zombie-like at a glowing screen even when it was beautiful weather outside.

And so, I was humbled again by practicalities. We began with an old Game Boy and progressed to a Wii. Now I know the games they are playing. When they play here, after a short amount of game time, I can happily suggest other wholesome, fun activities. The thrill of the forbidden has been removed. They don't feel a desperation to play video games for as long as they can, whenever they get the chance. They don't even play every day anymore. My children are learning the value of moderation. I found it is impossible to teach moderation and complete abstinence at the same time. I will save the absolute abstinence instruction for other, more crucial aspects of life.

Now, in all fairness, this is my philosophy of what works for my family. I know many families that do not play video games or even have a t.v. for that matter, and it works for them. Paul had a friend growing up that didn't have a t.v. but everyone wanted to hang out at his house. He had other magnets such as a pool table, Foosball, and shelves and shelves of the coolest board games, among other things. They also provided an almost endless supply of snacks and sodas.

I guess what it comes down to, is the need to keep in contact with your kids. If you have boys, chances are it will include video games in some way. Maybe that cute sister in relief society will have all girls and video gaming won't really even be an issue. The key is finding a way to keep them coming home and bringing their friends. Every family needs to find what works for them. I know of the absolute necessity of keeping my kids close, knowing their friends, and communicating.

Christian's Family Totem

Christian made this on a toilet paper roll for an assignment at school.  I was really touched by the way he sees each of our children's roles in the family.

(click to enlarge)

One of those days

Today was one of those days when being wife, mother, maid, laundress,Cub Scout leader, summer activities director, gardener, landscaper, lawnmower, motivational speaker, disciplinarian, educator, life counselor, computer graphics expert, television screener, social director, nutritionist, chef, shopper, coupon clipper, boo-boo kisser, librarian, piano practice enforcer, referree, nay sayer, tantrum diffuser...etc...etc...etc... is just more than I can tackle.  I'm wishing for a cold drink, a comfy lounge chair, a good book, and some guilt-free quiet.

Summer Countdown

Normally I am full of trepidation this time of year.  I wonder "What am I going to do with them all day, every day?" But, after all the end of the year projects, make-up work, performances, field trips, dramas, olympics, field days, etc, etc, etc.  I am worn out and ready for some flexibility and fun.  We have been working on our Summer activity list like we did last year.  We had so much fun keeping track of all the fun we had and keeping those ideas fresh in our minds last year, we just have to do it again.

We have also started a tracking system.  I have ordered little bracelet charms from here to keep the kids motivated to work on things during the summer.  We are tracking how far they run, how far they bike, how many pages they read, and how many hours they practice piano.  We will also be working on the reading program from the Public Library and earning free books from Borders and Barnes and Noble.

Looks like it will shape up to be a fun productive summer!

Teaching our children to fall

We had an amazing guest speaker in Releif Society today.  She was in a car accident at 15 months old and paralyzed from the waist down.  Her smile was so contaigious and her enjoyment of life was palpable.  Among her many other talents, she is a very accomplished violinist with the Orchestra at Temple Square. She shared so many great lessons and experiences but one really stood out to me.  She spoke about her mother and the choice her parents made, to push her to do hard things, to stretch, to reach and not let the fear of failure stop her from trying. 

She talked about how her mother wanted her to be independent at school and so had another woman in a wheel chair come to teach her how to fall correctly out of her wheel chair so that she would be able to get back in by herself.  By doing this, she gave her freedom from having an aide follow her all day in case she fell.  Then she progressed to learning to use braces and crutches.  Again, she had to learn how to fall in a certain way so that she would be able to reach her crutches and get back up.  She and her mother would go for walks and at any given time, and on any terrain her mother would instruct her to fall and then get back up.  Although the learning process was painful and she came to dread the walks with her mother, she attained a level of independance and confidence that could not have be attained in any other way.

As I reflected on this amazing woman's message, I thought of a loving Heavenly Father who sent us here to a mortal life to learn and gain experience that could not be obtained in any other way.  Although His purpose is for us to have joy, He allows us to feel pain, make choices, good or bad, and choose to follow His plan of happiness...or not.  He has given us instructions and guidance for when we fall, knowing that we would.  He has provided a way back to Him despite our imperfections, but will never force us nor deny us the consequences of our choices.

My thoughts then turned to my children and my parenting.  Am I preparing my children to fall?  I know they will, no matter how I want to spare them pain.  But, do I really want to deny them the chance to learn what they have come to learn?  I know that the pain of consequences can be the most fertile soil for learning.  Am I letting them experience the full impact of consequences while they are still relatively minor stumbles?  If I want them to learn to avoid the most painful, unecessary falls I cannot soften the blows as my soft mother heart desires.  Am I effectively showing them the path of repentance, mercy, and love that will help them to rise from those falls?  Those are lessons they can never learn if I am always there to catch them.  
Balancinglove, acceptance, cheerleading, advocacy, with watching, with pain in my heart, as they fall and then struggle to their knees on their own.  Teaching them to seek the help of one who knows how to teach them to grow better than I.  This is a balancing act I fear I will never master, but I will try because I must bow to the master teacher, and because I love my children.

Springtime at the Tulip Festival

Yesterday, we drove down to Thanksgiving Point for the last weekend of the Tulip Festival.  We met Paul's parents there and enjoyed walking around with them for a couple of hours and then stayed even longer after they left.  I have never been to the Gardens at Thanksgiving Point and I had no idea how much there is to do!  There are so many different gardens to see including children's areas with hedge mazes and a big Noah's ark complete with bronze animals and Noah and his wife.  The waterfalls were amazing.  There really was something for everyone.  We had a wonderful time!

Waterfalls

Waterfalls from above

Eating dinner together

Emma's Testimony

As a regular part of our Family Home Evening, we have started to encourage each member of the family take a turn bearing their testimony.  It has been an incredible experience the last few months.  Paul and I have really been touched and learned so much from our children. 

One such experience was when Emma said, "Even though I try really hard to be good, I still make mistakes."  "I am thankful for second chances."

I too am thankful for second chances, especially as a parent.  I try really hard to be good but I still make lots of mistakes.  I am thankful for forgiving children who don't hold grudges and still love me with all their hearts.  I am also thankful for an understanding and forgiving Savior who listens and accepts my heartfelt repentance, even if it is for the same mistakes over and over again.
What wisdom there is to be found in the testimonies of children!  Oh, to be like a little child.

Woman of God

I was reading this blog in which Morgan is writing her own personal manifesto which, by the way, I think is a wonderful idea and I will be pondering my own.  Anyway, I was struck by a phrase she used and have been thinking about for the whole day.  She called herself "a Woman of God".  We hear "Daughter of God" often in the church.  "Daughter of God" or "Child of God" brings to mind words and phrases such as potential, loved, cherished, protected, self-worth, images of a loving Father.

As I thought about what it means to be a "Woman of God", I think of strength of character, courage, power to do good, leadership, compassion, service.  I see a woman who stands strong in her own beliefs, testimony, and commitment.  A woman who leads out, who doesn't lean on, or wait for others, whether it be parents, husband, siblings, church leaders, visiting teaching companion, etc.  She is a woman of action not just intentions.  A woman of vision who sees what can be and works to make it happen.  A mother of confidence who teaches with strength, love and compassion.

As I consider these traits, faces of women come to mind.  These are women I admire, look up to, and aspire to be like them.  Among them are my mother and sisters, nieces, neighbors, friends, ancestors, women from history, those from the past and those making history today.

I am a Daughter of God working to become one of these Women of God.  I have the examples, I have the blue prints, help, support, love, and confidence of my Father in Heaven.  What I lack is focus and daily determination to live deliberately, to take advantage of individual moments...to always remember my goal, my destination.

Spring Break

We spent our Spring Break in Moab.  Despite all the rain and cold weather, we had a fun time.  The first day we hiked around Arches, including Delicate arch which the kids loved and the three oldest were great hikers!  Jenna loved the pack, but spent much of the time hiking too.
On the second day, we drove through Canyonlands checking out overlooks and doing one short hike.  It was really quite rainy and cold that day.

The third day, we drove down to Edge of the Cedars museum to check out hundreds of Native American artifacts and climb down into a Kiva.  I had never been there and really enjoyed the feeling of history.  We had planned to go to Mesa Verde, but unfortunately all of the exibits and hikes didn't open until the following Monday.  We'll have to plan it again for another time.  The kids were disappointed, however we wouldn't have been able to see Edge of the Cedars if we had.



Park Avenue



On Sunday as we prepared to drive home, it was finally a beautiful, perfect day, so we decided to try one more hike.  We drove up into Arches and hiked Park Avenue.  It was amazing.  I wish the weather had been that beautiful the whole time.

The kids were very busy.  They earned Junior Ranger badges at both Arches and Canyonlands, and the Junior Archeologist award at Edge of the Cedars.  Then they went on to earn the highest award, the Red Rock Ranger award.  The Red Rock Ranger award requires at least 2 Junior Ranger badges from National Parks and 1 other program from a State Park in the area.

Delicate Arch

Wildlife spotted by Emma

Kiva at Edge of the Cedars

Newspaper Rock

"Say goodbye to scared Emma and Hello to brave Emma"

Yesterday, this was what Emma told Paul: "Say goodbye to scared Emma and Hello to brave Emma!"

Hooray Emma, we are so proud of you!

The neighbor kids were even all cheering for her from their driveway.  She was just beaming!