My former video game hating self

I was reminded of my former self a couple of weeks ago. In Relief Society at church we were discussing different kinds of addictions and how to avoid them. Video gaming came up as something that could easily become an addiction leading to many negative consequences such as job loss, family quality, etc. There was a cute young married girl without children who made the comment that she had made the decision to never have a gaming system in her house. I was reminded of when I too had very strong convictions about the negative aspects of gaming and had decided that I would never have it in my house for my children. I knew the statistics, I had seen it in the lives of my elementary school students, it just wasn't going to happen. Then I became a mom.

It all began with a trampoline. I had also decided that we wouldn't have a trampoline. They were too dangerous and the liability of the neighbor kids jumping too was just something I didn't want to deal with. Then the neighbors got a trampoline. My kids loved it! I was a little nervous but I gave the lecture about being careful, watching out for those smaller than you, not having too many children on at once, etc, etc. Then, one day, I walked over to there to collect my children at dinner time. Not only were there 12 kids on the trampoline at once, but I discovered that the father who lived there liked to do aerial ski jumping and so had raised the trampoline to my shoulder level in order to avoid hitting the ground while practicing his aerials. I was on the Internet the next day looking for a good used trampoline. I had decided that with the trampoline in my backyard I could supervise the number of children jumping and what was happening on that trampoline. I needed to be involved and aware.

Then came video games. I never wanted gaming in my home. I just knew that I could provide more wholesome, fun ways for my kids to spend their time. I was impervious to the pleading, whining, crying, insults etc. and the kids gave me a hard time too. ;) That was until the kids began disappearing to their friends' houses for hours everyday. It wasn't as fun at our house. I was losing my children! Not only were they gone, but I didn't know anything about the types of games they were playing nor what percentage of time they spent playing video games vs. other forms of play and interaction. I suspected that hours upon hours were spent staring zombie-like at a glowing screen even when it was beautiful weather outside.

And so, I was humbled again by practicalities. We began with an old Game Boy and progressed to a Wii. Now I know the games they are playing. When they play here, after a short amount of game time, I can happily suggest other wholesome, fun activities. The thrill of the forbidden has been removed. They don't feel a desperation to play video games for as long as they can, whenever they get the chance. They don't even play every day anymore. My children are learning the value of moderation. I found it is impossible to teach moderation and complete abstinence at the same time. I will save the absolute abstinence instruction for other, more crucial aspects of life.

Now, in all fairness, this is my philosophy of what works for my family. I know many families that do not play video games or even have a t.v. for that matter, and it works for them. Paul had a friend growing up that didn't have a t.v. but everyone wanted to hang out at his house. He had other magnets such as a pool table, Foosball, and shelves and shelves of the coolest board games, among other things. They also provided an almost endless supply of snacks and sodas.

I guess what it comes down to, is the need to keep in contact with your kids. If you have boys, chances are it will include video games in some way. Maybe that cute sister in relief society will have all girls and video gaming won't really even be an issue. The key is finding a way to keep them coming home and bringing their friends. Every family needs to find what works for them. I know of the absolute necessity of keeping my kids close, knowing their friends, and communicating.