Most of us are familiar with some version of the following story:
A man was sitting on his front porch when another man approached him. He said that he was new to the area and had just bought a house. He then asked what it was like to live there. The man answer him with a question. "What it was like in the place you came from?" He said it was just awful, the people were not friendly at all, he was not respected in his place of employment, and the local government was terrible. The man replied, "you will find it about the same here." A few days later, a woman stopped with the same story, she had just moved here and wanted to know about the area. The man asked her the same question, "What was it like in the last place you lived?" She said it was wonderful, and that she had a great job, the people were friendly, it was a great place to live and she hated to leave. To this the man replied "You will find it about the same here."
I have been thinking about this a lot lately as we leave a wonderful neighborhood and a practically celestial ward to build a new home, new friendships, and new experiences. I have reflected on the places I have lived and the people I have met. I have found the moral of this story to be amazingly true. We do find what we are looking for. We bring with us the keys to finding happiness or discontent and friendship or loneliness.
I first learned this as I moved from home to go to college and work at various resorts during the summer. I met a variety of people with varying lifestyles. Some other young college girls shied away from anyone who did not have the same standards as they did. They found themselves isolated and missed out on making some very loyal, good friends. I found that though my friends did not have the same beliefs I did, they respected and admired my standards and encouraged me in keeping them.
As a missionary in Guatemala, I had some experiences that taught me not ot judge a person's heart. One day we were riding on a bus to a medical appointment out of our mission. Often we were approached by young men who were more interested in talking to the blonde american girl than the gospel. I was approached by a man who seemed to be just such a person. I talked to him, remembering my mission president's admonition to open our mouths and share the gospel with everyone, and I wrote down his contact information and then forgot about it. I am ashamed to admit, it took me weeks to send that referal card to the other mission office. After I returned from Guatemala, I received a letter from that man telling me of his baptism andthanking me for introducing him to the gospel. It was very humbling. Unfortunately, I am a slow learner and have many other experiences where I judged too quickly or did not closely pay attention to those I came in contact with.
When I returned from my mission, I was fortunate to marry my best friend. Even that was a learning experience. That is a story for another time because it is a long one. Suffice it to say that I had a little trouble realizing that my best friend was the best candidate for a husband.
A few months after we were married, we moved to Puerto Rico for 3 years. It was another cultural adjustment with many opportunities to learn of and appreciate differences in others. We attended an English speaking branch and made some amazing friends. Then we were asked by the stake president to attend the Spanish ward in which we lived because of a need in filling leadership positions. We found many different traditions and customs in that ward and stake. For example, we were told it was inappropriate to bring carbonated beverages to a ward function. Not just caffeinated beverages, any carbonated beverages. We found this to be very different than what we were used to but respected our leaders and bought punch. Another time was when I was YW President and wanted to have a fun cooking activity in which we would share comfort food recipes. I decided on potato salad, thinking it was traditional mormon food. Much to my dismay, they didn't like the potato salad at all! Evidently, their tradional potato salad is verrry different from mine. I should have done a little more research!
In the last neighborhood we just moved from, we met so many amazing people who were wonderful examples of service, charity, love, and friendship. I learned so much serving with them and watching them. Unfortunately, like anywhere, there were those people who did not feel comfortable or welcomed. I felt bad, and tried to be friendly. I am sure I could have done better and I will continue to try wherever we are. I hope those people who seem to have trouble finding what they desire, eventually find what they are looking for.
As for us, we have met a few people from our new neighborhood and find them to be friendly and welcoming. As parents, we worry for our 4 children. Will they find a place in friendships that are already established? Will they have leaders and teachers who love the gospel and can pass that to the children they serve? Will those teachers and leaders see the wonderful people inside the squirming bodies and verbal overflow and love them?
Will we, as adults, find lasting friendships and social opportunities as well as the chance to serve and appreciate those in our ward and neighborhood. I truely believe that if a person enters a new situation asking "What will this neighborhood, ward, work environment, circle of people do for me?" they will most likely be disappointed with what they find. On the otherhand, if we ask "What can we contribute?" we will find what we want to find.
This rambling, reminiscent epic leads me to these conclusions. We find what we actively seek. If we enter new situations with an attitude of respect, willingness to learn, and desire to see the good in others we will find what we seek.
At least, that is my theory. I still have much to learn and I am excited to meet a brand new batch of teachers.
A man was sitting on his front porch when another man approached him. He said that he was new to the area and had just bought a house. He then asked what it was like to live there. The man answer him with a question. "What it was like in the place you came from?" He said it was just awful, the people were not friendly at all, he was not respected in his place of employment, and the local government was terrible. The man replied, "you will find it about the same here." A few days later, a woman stopped with the same story, she had just moved here and wanted to know about the area. The man asked her the same question, "What was it like in the last place you lived?" She said it was wonderful, and that she had a great job, the people were friendly, it was a great place to live and she hated to leave. To this the man replied "You will find it about the same here."
I have been thinking about this a lot lately as we leave a wonderful neighborhood and a practically celestial ward to build a new home, new friendships, and new experiences. I have reflected on the places I have lived and the people I have met. I have found the moral of this story to be amazingly true. We do find what we are looking for. We bring with us the keys to finding happiness or discontent and friendship or loneliness.
I first learned this as I moved from home to go to college and work at various resorts during the summer. I met a variety of people with varying lifestyles. Some other young college girls shied away from anyone who did not have the same standards as they did. They found themselves isolated and missed out on making some very loyal, good friends. I found that though my friends did not have the same beliefs I did, they respected and admired my standards and encouraged me in keeping them.
As a missionary in Guatemala, I had some experiences that taught me not ot judge a person's heart. One day we were riding on a bus to a medical appointment out of our mission. Often we were approached by young men who were more interested in talking to the blonde american girl than the gospel. I was approached by a man who seemed to be just such a person. I talked to him, remembering my mission president's admonition to open our mouths and share the gospel with everyone, and I wrote down his contact information and then forgot about it. I am ashamed to admit, it took me weeks to send that referal card to the other mission office. After I returned from Guatemala, I received a letter from that man telling me of his baptism andthanking me for introducing him to the gospel. It was very humbling. Unfortunately, I am a slow learner and have many other experiences where I judged too quickly or did not closely pay attention to those I came in contact with.
When I returned from my mission, I was fortunate to marry my best friend. Even that was a learning experience. That is a story for another time because it is a long one. Suffice it to say that I had a little trouble realizing that my best friend was the best candidate for a husband.
A few months after we were married, we moved to Puerto Rico for 3 years. It was another cultural adjustment with many opportunities to learn of and appreciate differences in others. We attended an English speaking branch and made some amazing friends. Then we were asked by the stake president to attend the Spanish ward in which we lived because of a need in filling leadership positions. We found many different traditions and customs in that ward and stake. For example, we were told it was inappropriate to bring carbonated beverages to a ward function. Not just caffeinated beverages, any carbonated beverages. We found this to be very different than what we were used to but respected our leaders and bought punch. Another time was when I was YW President and wanted to have a fun cooking activity in which we would share comfort food recipes. I decided on potato salad, thinking it was traditional mormon food. Much to my dismay, they didn't like the potato salad at all! Evidently, their tradional potato salad is verrry different from mine. I should have done a little more research!
In the last neighborhood we just moved from, we met so many amazing people who were wonderful examples of service, charity, love, and friendship. I learned so much serving with them and watching them. Unfortunately, like anywhere, there were those people who did not feel comfortable or welcomed. I felt bad, and tried to be friendly. I am sure I could have done better and I will continue to try wherever we are. I hope those people who seem to have trouble finding what they desire, eventually find what they are looking for.
As for us, we have met a few people from our new neighborhood and find them to be friendly and welcoming. As parents, we worry for our 4 children. Will they find a place in friendships that are already established? Will they have leaders and teachers who love the gospel and can pass that to the children they serve? Will those teachers and leaders see the wonderful people inside the squirming bodies and verbal overflow and love them?
Will we, as adults, find lasting friendships and social opportunities as well as the chance to serve and appreciate those in our ward and neighborhood. I truely believe that if a person enters a new situation asking "What will this neighborhood, ward, work environment, circle of people do for me?" they will most likely be disappointed with what they find. On the otherhand, if we ask "What can we contribute?" we will find what we want to find.
This rambling, reminiscent epic leads me to these conclusions. We find what we actively seek. If we enter new situations with an attitude of respect, willingness to learn, and desire to see the good in others we will find what we seek.
At least, that is my theory. I still have much to learn and I am excited to meet a brand new batch of teachers.
BTW, if you made it through this rambling you must either be a really good friend or maybe, just maybe, you are interested in the things I write. Either way, I am excited to announce that one of my ramblings has been chosen as a feature article on Mormon Mommy Blogs! Wow, they must be desperate or something... or maybe it just pays to know someone ;) Anyway, if you haven't read enough of my epic writing, check it out!
1 comment:
Wow Brooke! My sentiments exactly. I'm just not good putting it into words. Everywhere we've been we've found it to be the best place we've ever lived. If we can be happy in one place we will be happy wherever we go.
Great job on being chosen for the feature article on Mormon Mommy Blogs.
Post a Comment